Beverly "Bev" Oakley (Down'ard)
Beverly is a Sunday School teacher and rank Down'ard. Relentless vocal support keeps her side pushing toward their Clifton Mill goal. Bev puts her religion and family first and then Shrovetide, at which time of the year she'd like a sex change. Other Down'ards claim if she were a man Bev would have several balls by now. Singlehandedly, will stand in the middle of the road and break up an oncoming car load of Up'ards.
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 130lbs
MPH: 5
Hair Follicle Count: 90,000
Balls: 0
Knock-out Ability: 1
Skullduggery Factor: 8
Mauling Power: 0
Bench Press: 50lbs
Andy "Hills Have Eyes" Hill (Up'ard)
"Once you have a ball, you're like a god" says Andy's wife. This immaculate conception happened to Andy 2005 after which he began sleeping with his ball. Andy is now doing the heavy lifting for other Up'ards who dream of scoring a life altering goal at Sturston. Constructing fences and weight lifting twice his own weight help him stay in shape for Shrovetide.
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 230lbs
MPH: 6
Hair Follicle Count: 0
Balls: 1
Knock-out Ability: 8
Skullduggery Factor: 5
Mauling Power: 9
Bench Press: 550lbs
Darren Waring (Down'ard)
Plumber Darren is one of the most passionate Shrovetider's that will ever walk this earth. His formidable power, heart and determination help lead the Down'ards throughout every moment of Shrovetide. As far as Darren is concerned you can role the Super Bowl, FA Cup and World Cup all into one and it still wouldn't come close to winning a Shrovetide ball. Love or hate him he doesn't give a "xxxx" and once he puts on his English bulldog playing shirt you will soon understand why.
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 235lbs
MPH: 6
Hair Follicle Count: 10,500
Balls: 1
Knock-out Ability: 8
Skullduggery Factor: 7
Mauling Power: 8
Bench Press: 500lbs
Lenny Lyons (Up'ard)
The best feeling of all for machinist Lenny was the day he bought his ball back home to Monty, his three year old son waiting at the door. Little Monty is grown up now and plays with his old man. But don't let family sentimentality get in the way of Shrovetide. Lenny is the Up'ards talisman and knows everything there is to know about mauling the Shrovetide ball smoothly around Ashbourne town...usually toward the Up'ard goal at Sturston Mill.
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 205lbs
MPH: 6
Hair Follicle Count: 0
Balls: 1
Knock-out Ability: 8
Skullduggery Factor: 4
Mauling Power: 8
Bench Press: 400lbs
Brendon Harwood (Down'ard)
Brendon was going in the wrong direction as a young lad and left Ashbourne's sometimes troubled neighborhood Tin Town to join the Army. He's now returned as a floor layer with a single goal in mind...to get a ball. He forms a vital connection between an old guard and the new, younger breed determined to change the Down'ard's ten year losing streak. Brendon and the young Down'ards are fired up to prove themselves and want that ball at Clifton.
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 180lbs
MPH: 10
Hair Follicle Count: 80,000
Balls: 0
Knock-out Ability: 7
Skullduggery Factor: 5
Mauling Power: 6
Bench Press: 410lbs
David "Callers" Caladine (Up'ard)
Having grown up in the Down'ard stronghold of Tin Town Contractor Dave Calladine, according to Bev, is a Benedict Arnold amongst Shrovetiders. Yet Dave's parents never followed Shrovetide so he decided to run with the "posh" Up'ards in favor of the "dirty" Down'ards. Shrewd, tactical and well organized Dave is symbolic of the "modern" way Up'ards play their Shrovetide, a style that disgusts the free spirited and often argumentative Down'ards.
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 179lbs
MPH: 9.5
Hair Follicle Count: 30,000
Balls: 1
Knock-out Ability: 4
Skullduggery Factor: 4
Mauling Power: 4
Bench Press: 350lbs
Peter "Plonk" Millward (Down'ard)
Plonk is the unofficial ambassador of Ashbourne and Shrovetide. Always cheery and welcoming he likes nothing more than to sit down with you over a cup of tea and his ball that shows his fireman service and seven children. Now, if any of them come to Dad and say they are gay Plonk says he will love them forever. But if any them say they are an Up'ard; that's it, they are no longer part of the family.
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 240lbs
MPH: 4
Hair Follicle Count: 2,000
Balls: 1
Knock-out Ability: 7
Skullduggery Factor: 7
Mauling Power: 7
Bench Press: 430lbs
Mark "Harry" Harrison (Down'ard)
Harry is a publican and the sporting Dirty Harry of Shrovetide. This cool star of the game gets on with the job quietly, efficiently and gets it done...by any means necessary. Son of a bear knuckle fight champion, Harry was a school boy boxing champion 5 years in a row. As one Up'ard stalwart puts it, "Harry doesn't miss." Trains with a pack of twenty cigarettes.
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 185lbs
MPH: 5
Hair Follicle Count: 50,000
Balls: 1
Knock-out Ability: 10
Skullduggery Factor: 9
Mauling Power: 8
Bench Press: 430lbs